On the Edge of Midnight Dream

Love games

2009-07-09T11:56:00.001-07:00

- Who was she?
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- Don’t tell me that you don’t know her! Don’t lie to me; you know that I hate that..!
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- WHAT!!!!
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- Don’t mess up with me..! I warn you!
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- I know that you are lying..!
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- Well I can tell!
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- I just can..! You always look like that when you’re lying..!
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- I know that you know her..!
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- The why she smiled LIKE that to you and waved..?
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- I am not stupid and not blind..! You better tell me who she is and how you know her..!
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- Cousin..? WHF..?!
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- Don’t interrupt me when I am yelling at you..!
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- Just stop..! I can’t stand it anymore, that’s it, it is over!
I ran home. I haven’t been that angry for years, who he think he is? He is no one..! Little rat crawling on the ground, nothing else! And that bitch! Oh I hate them both!
I stopped on my way upstairs. Wait a second, I am right he is no one, he has no friends, no plans, no future, and he is like unwanted guest in this party called life.
It seemed it took me forever to find the right drawer in this house, but then it took me just a second to get prepared. I know exactly where to find them two.
I was right..!
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- Oh don’t tell me how much you love me, not now, that is it, I am sick and tired of you..! Now you two can be together forever!!
!!!
I couldn’t get out of this shithole fast enough. I got home, took a shower and burned my clothes. And then, just then I called Kae. She wasn’t too happy about that, but an invitation for drinks brought her mood up. It was just about a time, I needed this, and she was up for it…

Rain

2009-07-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

Wind playing with my hair. That’s most memorable memory from today, most relaxing too. It was raining, pouring actually, but still I didn’t mind walking home from work. I turned on my iPod and fell into my dream world. It wasn’t full of unfulfilled dreams, not even sun was shining in it, and the only thing I was dreaming about was, rain. You see the thing I have learned in 19 years of my life, is to be graceful for this very moment you are in, because it is so breakable and so short, that one should never be unhappy about it. Moments made us, moments brought us into this very place we are, and just because of them we have future to build. So don’t judge the moment, don’t blame anyone or anything, just except things the way they are, because there is no such bad thing that couldn’t be turned into something good, even rain.

Summer

2009-06-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

Summer is a time of the year when everyone, who is going to school, is waiting for the most. No homework, no assignments, no tests, nothing, just time for yourself. If you live in a big city, then you probably are out every single day, spending some quality time with people you hadn’t spend a lot of your time with and of course with your friends, but if you live in a tiny place like I do, then the only companion you get is your mind, and sometimes it is really hard to be alone with that… :D People that are coming to visit us from Lithuania are stunned by place we live in, but seriously when you live here for 4 years how often you go out the same routes that you have done for gazillion times and enjoy it? Well the answer is simple – none. And how big is the chance that you’ll discover something new? Well - zero. So here I am, in the middle of nowhere, (and in Norway it actually means no place to have fun in at least 60km radius) trying to make the most of it. Luckily I am going to my homeland, Lithuania, to have some fun. And by the time I’ll come back, luckily my family would be starting to move to another house, so that should keep me busy for quite some time. So actually I am looking forward to spending this summer.
Write what is your plans for this few moth? I think that I have pretty boring summer, prove me right… ;)

Red

2009-06-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

- Why should I wear this dress..?
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- I don’t think that this color actually looks good on me.
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- No I am dead serious.
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- I know, it is just that I don’t like colors like that. Or actually I just don’t like this particular color.
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- OK I am going to deal with it… Just give me a minute….

And then she left. Sometimes they all are so annoying…. Seriously sometimes I think that they don’t have life of their own, or that I am one-of-a-kind Barbie they are not able to share. You would probably say that million girls would kill to know them, but at this very moment and in this particular situation, I would be happy to trade places with someone else.
And this color, I know that this is color of love and passion, but seriously who said that. It doesn’t look anything like that for me. It is more the color of destruction and I have my own reasons for saying this. I have seen enough of red subjects so far and that is enough for the rest of my life.
That’s it! I am going to change and no one is going to make me wear this!

Sunny...

2009-05-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

When I woke up room was sinking in sunshine, even thought my windows face north side. “Beautiful day”, I thought and turned on my other side, because that is what I do on Saturday mornings, snooze… :) Eventually I managed to get up from my bed. Silence was draining every second, and that is not what you are used to when you live in boarding school. There is always enough action and drama to keep whole film production company busy for almost ever. “Perfect” ran through my thoughts, finally I had a moment for myself. It’s not that I don’t have enough time for that, I certainly do, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like I am actually alone, when I can hear people buzzing around in the hallway. I knew this is not going to last forever, so I turned on first song that made up my mind trying to stretch this breakable moment. It didn’t last long until idyllically moment turned into everyday- routine, but this morning sure made me happy and peaceful for the rest of this day.

Yellow Porsche

2009-05-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

- Are you serious? This is everything I dreamt about! OMG!!!
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- This is the best day of my life! I don’t really know what to say, how to thank!
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- Seriously? Is it mine? I can’t believe it!
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- Did you buy it? Oh my God, this baby cost a lot of money. Where did you get that much?
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- What do you mean? Not my business? Of course it is my business!
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- Well of course I am happy, who wouldn’t?
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- No, I am not going to leave it alone! I need to know! I hope it’s nothing illegal?
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-Well it better wouldn’t be, cause I would kill you if you lied to me
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- Well I dreamt about this baby for like ever, so I wouldn’t kill you for buying this for me.
One part of me was just screaming to give him back the keys, but the other was whispering to keep them. I was a little bit more attentive to my quite side. This was The Car! I couldn’t just give it in.
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- Of course I want to drive it!!!!!!
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-OK!!!!

And I got in, turned the key and listen to the engine. It was like dreaming and I didn’t want to wake up. I looked at him; he wasn’t going to get in and actually I wasn’t expecting it. That’s what I loved about him, he knew when I wanted space and gave it to me. After just few seconds it was just me, car and the road. I was driving west and it looked that I was trying to race the time. Sun was setting, but that didn’t worry me a bit. I knew that I couldn’t drive forever, that I needed to stop once, but I really didn’t care. I had my personal yellow miracle with me and this was everything I needed this moment.

Phone call

2009-05-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

- Are you sure about that?
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-Yeah I know.
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-Hahahaha…
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-Me too.
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-Ha! Well I need to go now. See you!
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-Who were you talking with on the phone?
-No-one.
-No-one? You were talking to someone!
-Well not no-one, just no-one you know.
I smiled. I just couldn’t give this in, not now. Well it wasn’t even me who came up with this. If it was just me, I would scream for the whole world that I, of all people, know them, but I can’t, I promised not to, so this is what I am going to do. Well of course my close friends got the honor to meet them. It was probably the best day of my life. It was impossibly hard to keep secrets from my loved ones and I was so happy to introduce them to Kae and Pris, but I would never tell her about them. She is just someone I know, no-one important.

Another Wednesday

2009-05-21T02:43:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was just another Wednesday, but what made it stand out from the crowd of Wednesdays was a football match we had in our school. It wasn't the best match our team played, but still it made this particular day a little bit better...

Weather wasn't promising anything good and of course it started raining in the second half of the match but that didn't stop me or others that watched it from staying with our team, because that is what we do, support them through good and bad times.

Even thought we lost 3:1 and our boys were disappointed (that was the first match they lost in this season) I still think that this was a good match, because of the spirit that was created on the field and on the stairs (that’s where supporters stand). I think that even big and famous clubs should be jealous of players we have. Football is just after school activity for them, but still they manage to show amazing skills and play amazing games. And every football club should be jealous of supporters we have here, because we are just the best..!xD

I know that there would be quite some more matches I will watch before I will finish this school and I know that I would write about few more, but I still want to thank now, to thank every player that plays on the field and every supporter on the stairs for this amazing experience I get, and these amazing memories I will carry with me for the rest of my life…

(P.S. Our boys usually wear blue but in this match they wore red)

Take care